Recently and in the past I have been 'challenged' by certain members of my family about "drama" in their lives/their past, my life and in relationships. "They" have spoken about it in a way that implies that they really dislike/hate drama in their lives and that the people 'doing' the drama are over the top people that they wish would change or stop the drama.
I think that drama and emotion run very similarly to each other and I have my own version of what each is. But first, lets look at how Webster's defines each.
Drama is defined as "a play for acting on stage or for broadcasting. The art of writing and presenting plays and, an exciting or emotional event, set of circumstances. Now that doesn't sound so 'bad' as it seems.
Emotion is defined as a strong mental or instinctive feeling such as love or fear. Again, not so bad.
To me, we are all emotional beings, some of us more than others. For instance, I do believe that God/Universe/Spirit made woman MUCH more emotional than men and I believe science can back that up. It is through emotion that we can nurture, understand, care and create. We are designed to be feeling humans and it is that feeling of emotion that allows us to connect to the beautiful balance of lifes' opposites; top/bottom, in/out, love/hate, man/woman and so forth. Everything in balance. Men are less emotional because there needs to be a strong shoulder to cry on, someone to pick you up and again, the balance of the emotional feeling.
I like acknowledging my feelings and in yoga we as teachers want you to 'feel' and not look visually all of the time. Learn to 'identify' your feelings and from this you can grow and move forward. Learn to accept your feelings without labels or denial and we will all stop burying our feelings which can lead to stress and sickness.
My definition of drama is taking a feeling and exacerbating it and empowering it to the degree of which we might go off the edge, over the cliff and into heightened volume, expression and even perhaps make the story sound better or worse than it really is. Some people use this as a tool of expression of self for storytelling, for getting more empathy and even out of habit for making a story become so much more than it really is. For whatever reason, whether they realize or not that they are doing it, most likely it is some habit.
What I ask of everyone is to be feeling and accepting of feelings/emotions. They play a role in our existence. We are not 'monotone angels' that should stay on one level all of the time and not let ourselves feel. I encourage my yoga students to have an equanimity that makes a beautiful pattern and rhythm of gentle waves of flow but not spikes of high and low to the roller coaster. Also not to be a straight flat line of boredom and non-expression. It isn't normal to not feel sad/happy, angry/content or hurt/funny.
I also ask my students not to 'make the story better or worse than it is' and be thoughtful about choosing the correct expression of how you feel. Recently someone told me that pain in their back felt like they were being stabbed with a knife and I asked them, "have you ever been stabbed before because now I understand what is happening in your back". You've been hurt before and you are worried and fearful of that 'stabbing' again. That student had never been stabbed so they couldn't really say what that felt like. Interestingly enough, once they moved into other poses the 'pain' went away. Everything is temporary. The words of the student were dramatic to make a point, but somehow that seems to just be a way to get more empathy or sympathy or to define dramatically the hurt.
We never want to be in a position to use our words incorrectly because words have power. Say what you mean, the universe and your cells are listening. Why do you need more sympathy? For more attention? Are you needy and not getting what you need out of life?
Ask for what you need. Go ahead and be feeling. You don't always have to be 'fine'. You can be whatever you are in that moment and it will change and change again. Honor your feelings. If you like being dramatic do it during a fun story but not during a truth-telling session with your yoga teacher, partner or friends. Go ahead, be real, be honest, be balanced and truthful. It's ok. In fact its encouraged. Elevate your voice for expression to keep it interesting, but always say it correctly, say it as your truth and not gossip and always 'Be Not Afraid' of what others say. Those that tell you to stop being dramatic are only in their own way uncomfortable with their own selves and lives and want you to come down to their level. THEY are uncomfortable but they are trying to make you feel uncomfortable for being who you are. We never have to change for ANYONE, nor should we.
Rise and Shine and give love/God your Glory! Have fun in life and stop worrying and if you need to get too dramatic, May I suggest participating in your local community theater? They are always looking for great actors!
Namaste'
Lesli Kotloski
