Peace/Love/Fear

Dear Yogi's, as we begin to reflect on the end of the year /New year, I want to invite you to ponder this idea.
If you want war to end in the world and peace to reign, you have to stop the personal wars in your own neighborhood first, your Self your heart.

Our fears, hurts and experiences are there/were there to help shape us into realization that, when you BELIEVE in love, love overcomes ALL.  When you BELIEVE in the good of man/mankind that GOOD happens.  When you TRULY BELIEVE in some higher form of existence (God, Buddha, Love, Universe, Spirit) then THAT is what fills your heart.  The 'things' you have like fear, suspicion, hurt and negativity are 'forms' of the dark side which are there to teach us and to 'inspire' us into knowing the difference between love and hate, war and peace and so on.

What YOU choose for yourself; your heart, mind, words and actions should be based on the desire to DRAW love into ALL situations because of your BELIEF.  When 'bad' happens to you it is because some part of you believes, owns, chooses to believe in fear, hurt and hate.  You can't judge, speak poorly or negatively against others and EXPECT to draw love, peace and Spirit more into your life.

If you are in a situation in your life that brings out your negativity, judgement and fear then you should ask yourself, "Why do I continue to CHOOSE this in my life".  You can't be good to some people and then not good to others and expect love and peace in your life.  You HAVE TO move away from those situations that continue to bring you fear, suspicion and judgement.  Whether you physically move (as I did from my town) or emotionally and/or mentally from a situation by IMPROVING your own Self with your choices of thought, word and action, then your situations around you change.

Do you want love in your life?  Be loving.  That simple.  Do you want peace in your life?  Be peaceful.  Do you want to stop having negative thoughts, negative experiences, feeling afraid, or feeling fearful? 

Put your TRUST into that higher divine idea; Love, Spirit, God, Universe.  Its that simple.  Treat, then move your feet.  As Wayne Dyer wrote, "You have to BELIEVE it to see it!"  It isn't the other way around folks!  Don't wait for someone, some 'thing' to have to PROVE it to you first, MAKE it happen in your own heart and mind.  YOU are responsible for what happens to you, not anyone else.  And God/Love/Universe are not bad, they are not 'punishing' you or purposefully hurting you.  when something doesn't 'work' anymore or doesn't feel right or good, THAT is how Spirit is talking to you, but you refuse to listen or you INSIST on believing that someone is bad to you or that you DESERVE bad things!  God is Good! 

When we believe in the good, when we think it, say it/speak it, and act that way AMAZING things happen!  Even when in our world today there are terrorists, evil doers and bad things happening, are they happening to you 'personally'?  Why are you drawing this?  why do you choose to continue those actions in life that move you to be dark over the light?  TRUST in the good of man and in life and then BE that person of trust, love and peace, and the world will transform around you in your own little neighborhood of your heart.  Remember the story of the Grinch.  As soon as he expanded his own heart because of the goodness of some people who refuse to let anyone else convince them otherwise of the goodness of life, his heart expanded and he got the girl, he got the love and he found the deepest meaning to life; LOVE.

May all you Grinches, all you fearful, negative, unhappy souls begin to explore this idea.  Grab Wayne Dyers book "You'll See it When you Believe it!" and watch your hate, fear and personal struggles shift.  Get on the mat, Yoga will transform you.

Namaste' and Happy Loving Holidays!

Lesli Kotloski

Dealing with Drama

Recently and in the past I have been 'challenged' by certain members of my family about "drama" in their lives/their past, my life and in relationships. "They" have spoken about it in a way that implies that they really dislike/hate drama in their lives and that the people 'doing' the drama are over the top people that they wish would change or stop the drama.

 

I think that drama and emotion run very similarly to each other and I have my own version of what each is. But first, lets look at how Webster's defines each.

 

Drama is defined as "a play for acting on stage or for broadcasting. The art of writing and presenting plays and, an exciting or emotional event, set of circumstances. Now that doesn't sound so 'bad' as it seems.  

 

Emotion is defined as a strong mental or instinctive feeling such as love or fear. Again, not so bad.

 

To me, we are all emotional beings, some of us more than others. For instance, I do believe that God/Universe/Spirit made woman MUCH more emotional than men and I believe science can back that up. It is through emotion that we can nurture, understand, care and create. We are designed to be feeling humans and it is that feeling of emotion that allows us to connect to the beautiful balance of lifes' opposites; top/bottom, in/out, love/hate, man/woman and so forth. Everything in balance. Men are less emotional because there needs to be a strong shoulder to cry on, someone to pick you up and again, the balance of the emotional feeling.  

 

I like acknowledging my feelings and in yoga we as teachers want you to 'feel' and not look visually all of the time. Learn to 'identify' your feelings and from this you can grow and move forward. Learn to accept your feelings without labels or denial and we will all stop burying our feelings which can lead to stress and sickness.

 

My definition of drama is taking a feeling and exacerbating it and empowering it to the degree of which we might go off the edge, over the cliff and into heightened volume, expression and even perhaps make the story sound better or worse than it really is. Some people use this as a tool of expression of self for storytelling, for getting more empathy and even out of habit for making a story become so much more than it really is. For whatever reason, whether they realize or not that they are doing it, most likely it is some habit.

 

What I ask of everyone is to be feeling and accepting of feelings/emotions. They play a role in our existence.  We are not 'monotone angels' that should stay on one level all of the time and not let ourselves feel. I encourage my yoga students to have an equanimity that makes a beautiful pattern and rhythm of gentle waves of flow but not spikes of high and low to the roller coaster.  Also not to be a straight flat line of boredom and non-expression. It isn't normal to not feel sad/happy, angry/content or hurt/funny.  

 

I also ask my students not to 'make the story better or worse than it is' and be thoughtful about choosing the correct expression of how you feel. Recently someone told me that pain in their back felt like they were being stabbed with a knife and I asked them, "have you ever been stabbed before because now I understand what is happening in your back". You've been hurt before and you are worried and fearful of that 'stabbing' again. That student had never been stabbed so they couldn't really say what that felt like. Interestingly enough, once they moved into other poses the 'pain' went away. Everything is temporary. The words of the student were dramatic to make a point, but somehow that seems to just be a way to get more empathy or sympathy or to define dramatically the hurt.  

 

We never want to be in a position to use our words incorrectly because words have power. Say what you mean, the universe and your cells are listening. Why do you need more sympathy? For more attention? Are you needy and not getting what you need out of life?  

 

Ask for what you need. Go ahead and be feeling. You don't always have to be 'fine'. You can be whatever you are in that moment and it will change and change again. Honor your feelings. If you like being dramatic do it during a fun story but not during a truth-telling session with your yoga teacher, partner or friends. Go ahead, be real, be honest, be balanced and truthful. It's ok. In fact its encouraged. Elevate your voice for expression to keep it interesting, but always say it correctly, say it as your truth and not gossip and always 'Be Not Afraid' of what others say. Those that tell you to stop being dramatic are only in their own way uncomfortable with their own selves and lives and want you to come down to their level. THEY are uncomfortable but they are trying to make you feel uncomfortable for being who you are. We never have to change for ANYONE, nor should we.  

Rise and Shine and give love/God your Glory! Have fun in life and stop worrying and if you need to get too dramatic, May I suggest participating in your local community theater? They are always looking for great actors!

Namaste'

 

Lesli Kotloski

Fulfillment

I have had such a strong work ethic ever since I was young.  I suppose I have my parents to thank to some degree for this as they strongly urged me and my brother to make our beds, clean our rooms, and do other things like dust the house.  I personally preferred the outdoor work like gardening, mowing the lawn, digging up the dandelions, painting our bridge that went over our creek and more.  My brother tried to tell me that was 'man's' work and I disagreed.  Through my high school I did volunteer work for our choir ushering people to their seats at an auditorium call Whiting Auditorium for special concerts and events. Every summer I like to run my own 'summer camp' and have the neighborhood kids over for teaching, fun and games in my yard. At 14 my parents signed a work order allowing me to work in my hometown of Flushing Michigan at a restaurant where I waited the tables, cleared the tables and washed the dishes. I continued to work from there on out. They told me I had to buy my own car which I saved for and got, my dad picked it out for me and it was beautiful.  I was also interested in owning a stereo, water bed and eventually moving into my own apartment. I love working and making my own money however too, I bought things I wanted rather than pay my bills which only ends up in disaster.  

 

During the time I was ill with Chrons' disease I eventually was unable to work and was focused on becoming well. At first it was a challenge to survive where I had to live with my parents, than friends and eventually receiving Medicare was able to get into an apartment to be on my own. I worked a bit helping at church and singing. I didn't 'want' to work then because I didn't feel good and I needed to focus on my health and getting better. I eventually, with support and help had a man in my life who was as eager to help me get well as I was and provided a scenario to allow that to happen.  Unfortunately over time and another final surgery, that took a toll on our relationship and I find myself out on my own again. However, it leads to good news because at the same time we were divorcing peacefully, I found a yoga studio where the current students I had would allow me to pay that rent.  I was staying with a friend as well for free and that allowed those changes to take place.  Over time though, I was unable to stay with that friend since he was an alcoholic I found out and got out fast, and began my journey of finding a place to live, which I did with the help of a friend. Now I went from no rent, to rent of a studio to 2 rents and 2 sets of bills. It can be pretty scary but I was determined to make it.

 

When my new/old friend of the past came into my life, along with my strong work ethic (and this time a much better understanding of making, saving and spending or not spending money due to the lessons I learned when married) I was able to squeak by. My friend helped me learn how to be a business person and how to market which has allowed me now to build my studio up and be so busy that I can pay my bills! I have never felt so humbled, grateful and honored to be able to 'on my own and with support emotionally' to live in a cute townhouse, own a yoga studio to help people, have a decent car and actually begin to save some money!  

 

My work ethic is stronger than ever and now there is little time for relaxation and fun but that is ok because my job is relaxing at time and mostly fun! I am so blessed by the universe to be able to provide services to others, based on my experiences, to help them 'help themselves'; whether it is emotionally, financially, mentally, relationship wise or health. Been there done it all.  

 

I am grateful for the experiences too including the sickness because I learned so much and grew. I have seen and experienced so much that I am well versed in life which allows me to understand others' experiences and feelings. A strong work ethic can go a million miles in a lifetime and me and my friend are living proof of that. He too is a hard hard worker and focused on the work ethic of life.  I am proud of him and grateful for his lessons. We all have teachers in our lives that lead and teach us and he is one of my best teachers.  

 

For many of the people today suffering in life with unhappiness and lack of focus, and even a sense of entitlement I would like to say, there is the greatest joy within when we find work, passion and have purpose. Instead of looking outside of ourselves for something to fulfill us, we should go out and 'create' our work, and make our own fulfillment. It is IN each one of us. Last night me and my pal watched the movie Big, and there is a song in that movie as background music which most people don't even know. I know it because I sang it in church. The title of the song is "It's in Every One of Us" and the words go like this,

It's in everyone of us, to be wise, find your heart, open up both your eyes. We can all know everything without ever knowing how. It's in everyone of us, now right now.

Namaste' 

I am Yogi

I am a yogi. The word 'yogi' refers to "any student who studies the practice of yoga". The practice of yoga is not limited to the poses and the physicality of the 'exercise' and those who only embrace the physicality of it are really missing the true 'teachings' of yoga.

 

Yoga began in the eastern culture and in India thousands of years ago and is embraced today in many people's homes both in the east and in the west. As my teachers taught me, it begins with starting your day consciously by waking up to give thanks to wake to another day. From there you might begin your day by meditating. I begin my morning first with a cup of warm water and lemon (as the yogi's do in the east for digestion) but also with a cup or 2 of coffee (only in the morning for me) as it all helps as a digestive aid to rid one's body of the toxins formed from the days prior to today. Because I spend 6 days and 5 nights in the yoga studio I have plenty of opportunity to 'practice' however, yoga must be personal so even the teacher must embrace the practice away from the studio because the teacher is teaching and not always 'doing'. I leave very early in the morning however and I like to have my moments of thought (after checking out the weather forecast) toward gratitude, thanksgiving, my breath and love. We should meditate in the morning to start our day out right and then even periodically throughout the day perhaps; a 5 minute or so pause or practice of breath with the eyes closed to take away the external visions and move to the internal vision. If you can't get it in in the morning you must find another time of the day to practice 'sitting and being' with the breath. Meditation is vital to our health and life.

 

A yogi should always practice on an empty stomach but sometimes we have to eat so some of the foods that won't affect you too much before practice are toast, yogurt, and for me I choose non-typical breakfast foods like jasmine rice or some pasta. Food affects our breathing and digestion and when a student is practicing their poses they need to have their body and mind 'empty' for the realizations and awareness that comes from the practice as we open ourselves up to the moment, plus too so that we don't make noises or need to run off to the bathroom during our practice. We should have a healthy balance of standing poses, sitting poses, lying down on our belly and back and 'try' to make time each day to stop and put our feet up. We have to consciously make transitions from home/kids/weather/car/work/errands etc.  and using our breath and mind to stay mindful of those transitions and how we might have to 'change our hats'. This is an important part of the journey.

 

A few minutes a day of the practice on your mat in your sanctuary at home with an altar there to remind you of those things in life that keep us balanced, like love, peace, play, work and relationships and joy along with some mindfulness out there in your world will really help keep the stress down and your health 'up'!  

 

Too often though others try to fix us, change us, tell us how we should live or 'seem' to find something wrong with how we choose to live. As a teacher of yoga and as a yogi who lives the life off of the mat I prefer to try to inspire others to the lessons that yoga and metaphysics teach us and they can take that information and do with it what they want.  I myself am inspired by all of the different personalities that my yoga studio draws and I do not want to 'change' someone as I love what they teach me!  However, when my students (esp. those in privates and who open up) share with me their aches, pains and lifestyles, I try to use the teachings of yoga to help them understand other diverse ways and means of living through yoga and metaphysics or, The Science of Life to ease those dis-eases.  Too often we continue the same patterns and habits over and over again only to begin to feel lost, depressed, hurt, suffering and more; of body, mind and heart.

 

I have experienced and chose to share what I have learned through continuing my journey everyday to expand my awareness and learn from my relationships and experiences, and that lesson for me is that we are here to learn, grow, enjoy, love, share and not to suffer, hurt or stay mad long. We usually are the ones that cause our own hurt by not allowing ourselves to see through someone else's eyes and to let them 'teach us' from their experience. I do not want a world where we are all the same otherwise I won't grow and I become bored, stagnant and thinking that I have the answer to everyone's life! There are no final goals, there are no final answers, and though I prefer a world where there isn't killing and murder, I am not going to turn my head and heart into anger and hate toward these people who do this because then they win by hardening my heart. The reality is from the beginning of time, man has wanted power, possession, control and money and some people by any means will do it their way to get that. I can only trust that the more love I put into the world and the trust I feel in how the universe works that somehow I don't have to do the deed of harm, but that the universe/God/Spirit and love will in time by itself and by those persons actions, right action will win over wrong action and they will get their just desserts.

 

I prefer we all try to learn through yoga and metaphysics how to stop repeating patterns that harm us, make us sad or angry or do not let us grow.  It's ok to feel sad or any other emotion you want, but don't cling to it or let it hang around forever. We are meant to move forward and 'let go'. I want us to stop complaining about things in life and try to focus on the positive. If you don't like your life change it. If you don't like your body change it. If you don't like your relationships change them and make your life special, fun, loving, kind, wonderful, fulfilling and blessed, because you only get (as far as we REALLY know) this one chance.  Laugh at others ways and stop trying to fix them or change them to think like you and start honoring and validating their uniqueness and gifts. Ask for help or suggestions and be willing to open yourself up to the lessons of yoga that go WAYYYY beyond the physical and go deep into your soul. Find love then love. Let go and live. Laugh at your faults and mistakes because they aren't really 'that'; they are the greatest gifts and blessings we could ever have to grow, to live and to be at a place in our lives where we no longer suffer.

 

Lesli Kotloski

The Nature of Yoga

The Nature of Yoga.

 

This is the teaching of yoga.

Yoga is the cessation of the turnings of thought.

When thought ceases, the spirit stands in its true identity as observer to the world.

Otherwise, the observer identifies with the turnings of thought.

 

These are four aphorisms which define the nature of yoga as a state of mental tranquility and spiritual freedom, as well as the means to achieve this state.

 

The Turnings of Thought.

 

The turnings of thought, whether corrupted or immune to the forces of corruption, are of five kinds.

They are valid judgement, error, conceptualization, sleep and memory.

The valid means of judgment are direct perception, inference, and verbal testimony.

Error is false knowledge with no objective basis.  

Conceptualization comes from words devoid of substance.

Sleep is the turning of thought abstracted from existence.

Memory is the recollection of objects one has experienced.

(in learning about corruption, even the most subtle and benign workings of thought are obstructions to freedom of the spirit).

 

The Sanskrit term for cessation of the turnings of thought are 'citta-vrtti-nirodha'

 

The goal of yoga is to stop the thought processes so that the spirit can be free, isolated from the turmoil of thought from which it mistakenly takes its identity.

 

The Bhagavad Gita echos this idea when Krishna says of the yogi, "He should gradually become tranquil, firmly controlling his understanding; focusing his mind on the self, he should think nothing". (6.25)

 

The cessation of the turnings of thought comes through practice and dispassion. (we'll explore this more in our next series to come, breathe in this idea for now).

Life is your Teacher

"Life itself is your teacher, So follow in your own footsteps! LEAD the way into and through your life,  rather than cling to the old, past, stale habits that no longer serve you, set forth a new path with joy! Let your new steps lead you to the joy you deserve. Manifest your hearts desire and rejoice in it!" You could look at my life and say to yourself, wow! That woman has had a lot of experiences and changes! This is no doubt true on every level. I have lived a life most people do not. I modeled at stores for years as a mannequin model, for covers of Buick, in fashion shows, newspapers and more. I even entered a beauty pageant but found myself helping others try to win and be better people and was more nervous about my own journey there. I was the National and Canadian Anthem singer for Nascar racing at Michigan and Pennsylvania tracks for 10 years and when I retired, I rode in a pace car and was given a sapphire and diamond necklace and earrings to commemorate the time I spent there (since I also worked in the media center and ran a program for kids with (dis)abilities to go on the track for a ride, meet the drivers and have lunch in the garages.) I have been married twice and both experiences were completely different. I do not regret either of them, even though the first one was extremely physically abusive. I do not have kids so that in and of itself is very different than many. I have held so many different types of jobs, gone to school for many subjects and in my words,  have had life experiences that were so transforming (like almost dying twice from crohn's disease) that there is no turning back. I am moved, changed, transformed and I feel so educated from my life experiences. I may be wayyyy out of the norm from most people however, I work with a lot of children, people, and life experiences today so I am not without 'family'. My birth family live in Michigan however I find myself quite happy about living here and visiting there. Sure I miss them deeply however, metaphysics, life and science/universe have taught me about non-attachment and living the life I believe God/Spirit/Love wants me to live, which means also to continue to teach, grow and learn; then share it. So those of you who fear change, forget that word and change it to TRANSFORM! Remember these words from Eckhart Tolle; "The past cannot prevail against the power of now". Live a life that is truly YOURS and CHOOSE to share it while continuing to grow. Namaste'

Open Your Heart

Last night our beautiful earth decided to show us a wondrous display of an evening sky by being highlighted in swipes of reds, purples and blues. This is why i love to hang out in my bedroom in bed; my space is high above the other townhouses and homes and i see out into the open western sky over the treetops. We call it the setting sun but in actuality it is the earth rotating and that amazes me! I am really beginning to feel the light changing in the morning and the evening as it comes sooner and lasts longer. The sun and light DOES have an amazing energy that ignites us all! It is empowering and uplifting. I have been to some of the most amazing places to watch the sun arise and set; some even on the Pittsburgh Post's Gazettes Top 10 List. I find sitting and watching the light appear or disappear (for me) to be one of the most quieting and meditative experiences. Just for the hope and possibility of seeing another sun'rise' or sun'set' is my motivation to feel blessed in this lifetime. That sky last night continued to transform into different shapes and swipes of color as if a paintbrush came and continued to paint the canvas. It is a peaceful feeling to know as well that the sky I am seeing is most likely similar to the sky that my family and friends in other places may be seeing (if they are looking). We so easily get caught up in our lives and our world with that which is directly in front of us, most of the time a sort of 'routine' of our life and yet when we 'allow' ourselves to expand our own horizons beyond that which we see right in front of us, our hearts can be opened and unified to something greater than limitations we may have in that very moment. This is the week to open your heart more, that's what Valentine's Day means for me. I'm not into buying a card however i will make one. I will tell everyone i love them, i will make my sweetie a delicious dinner and sweet treat and i will allow Valentines' Day to be the day of expressing from my heart rather than getting all stuck in my head. It is important for us to give ourselves a gift or two as well, perhaps to watch a setting sun, to write about my gratitudes for the week in a journal, perhaps the gift of more time (hopefully on your yoga mat) and perhaps time to reflect (as i do when watching the sun 'set') reflect on what is meaningful and have more of it in my life.  We can stop spending time on useless things (surfing the net, watching tv,) and give yourself 10 minutes of ahh... Then there is the 'stuff' in your house blocking your space for.....SPACE/AIR/BREATH. That is what the vast open sky at sunset and sunrise remind me of, open space to breath and rid oneself of dustbunnies and cobwebs (in the body and mind but in the home and car too). Valentine's Day is a great time to remember 'Acceptance of oneself' which means you may have to forgive yourself of something and/or give yourself permission to be happy. We are so busy worrying about what others think of us or if our actions affected someone and yet, each of us was given this life to live and though we choose to 'share' it with others we still need to tend to our 'garden of the heart' and live the life that is within us as God/Spirit/Love intended. And only YOU know what that is for yourself because only YOU know what you are passionate about and what is meaningful to you. Hopefully you chose a partner that will walk that path with you and if not, that is ok. It is a big beautiful universe and you are meant to honor your Self. Accept 'what you have done and what you want to do'. You get this one opportunity (that i know of) to walk YOUR path, to love YOUR life and to open your heart, share your love, give yourself love by living the life you dream of and pausing to enjoy the sunrise or sunset or even to smell the roses. This is what a beautiful sky at night, with all of its colors and all of its lessons remind me of. This too is what Valentine's Day means to me, so no, you don't have to get all caught up in the Hallmark tradition. Make your own and use this time to connect to your heart center so that you too can connect to others.  

 

Lesli Kotloski

Snow Days

DO NOT PANIC! Todays media would have us thinking that a few inches of snow is reason to go stock up our fridge, pantry and lives with more stuff, stuff and stuff! I bet i could walk into each one of your homes and find PLENTY to get you by for over a week! The media wants to prepare you which is nice, but think of the old days when the pioneers didn't have the news to rely on and when the snow fell and covered the land, "they made do". It brought their family closer together. We could all learn from them on how to live more 'simply'. Why do i need 50 rolls of toilet paper or 50 loaves of bread? Did you ever hear of baking? Kids today only know how to live with the toys and energy that you provide for them.  Do they know how to 'survive' in a world with less? Wouldn't it be ok if your stomach felt a bit empty? Or you had so much time on your hands but only so much daylight to do it in?  I'm not sure if the media is in cahoots with the grocery stores (to sell more), or/and they only like to create FEAR. As if most of us don't have enough fears already in this crazy world, for ourselves and our children.

 

I say take the opportunity for snow days to gear down. Off with the tv, play a radio with batteries if you must.  Read a book, go out and play, bake, color, do whatever you love to do with now, the time you always wish you had that you now have. Teach your children about playing board games and living more simply. Teach them survival skills. One of my girlfriends a few years ago on that really big snowstorm that put so many out of power for days said to me, I can't open my refrigerator so that i don't lose that energy or my food. REALLY? The outside air temperature is cold enough that you can put your food in bags or coolers and put it in your garage, your back porch or even outside!  

 

Burn some candles, those of you with gas stoves can use those to make some food. Did you ever hear of peanut butter and jelly?  

 

We can all survive on so much less if we let ourselves. We would learn to spend less, have more quality moments and have more time. We do not have to keep going out and buying/spending/wasting time, when all you need is right there already in the comfort of your home; safe and sound. Protected and surrounded by light and love of your family and  forget the computer/ipad/ipod/gameboy etc.  Learn to live in each moment surrounded by loved ones and the comfort and security of your home and the beautiful blanket of snow. Nature IS beauty, so do not let this opportunity go by and get out your sleds, your snowshoes and your camera. Remember, each snowflake is completely different, how amazing is that  Just like each one of us; each unique, divine and beautiful.  

 

Have a beautiful snowy day.

Namaste'

 

Lesli Kotloski

Renew Yourself

Having perspective is a great way to learn and grow. We have to evaluate things in our life to see how we feel and what is meaningful for us. We forget to do that sometimes as part of a way to continue to know ourselves. Sometimes it is if we wait until something is forcing us or making us to change or understand, and eventually but not without some struggles, we surrender.  And something amazing happens, we actually find that we are in better situations and feeling better about ourselves, and life is handing us wonderful new things we didn't know existed or were available to us.  So let me make these suggestions that I like that I got from a book by Brian Walker called Hua Hu Ching.

 

"In ancient times, people lived holistic lives.  They didn't overemphasize the intellect, but integrated mind, body, and spirit in all things.

 

This allowed them to become masters of knowledge rather than victims of concepts. If a new invention appeared, they looked for the troubles it might cause as well as the shortcuts it offered.  They valued old ways that had been proven effective, and they valued new ways if they could be proven effective.

 

If you want to stop being confused, then emulate these ancient folk: join your body, mind and spirit in all you do. Choose food, clothing, and shelter that accords with nature. Rely on your own body for transportation. Allow your work and your recreation to be one and the same. Do exercise that develops your whole being and not just your body. Listen to music that bridges the three spheres of your being. Choose leaders for their virtue rather than their wealth or power. Serve others and cultivate yourself simultaneously. Understand that true growth comes from meeting and solving the problems of life in a way that is harmonizing to yourself and to others.

 

If you can follow these simple old ways, you will be continuously renewed."

Lesli Kotloski

An Evening of Kirtan

Stretch Boundaries

We all look at life from our point of view. It's human nature. If you want successful relationships you have to look through your partners/friends eyes and see yourself in their situation. So think about this question; How much fun are you to live with or be with? I find myself so attracted to things in life that are lighter, funnier, more fun, easy, hilarious, make me know and accept my truths and than be ok with it! Certain friends/partners bring out the best in us, even make us move forward in life. I recently saw on facebook a picture that showed two sides; to the left was aging and comfort or to the right was aging and being bold. Whichever one you pick for you is good, and you should have a partner that is gonna go there with you. I like comfort very much, but in a bold kinda way. I have learned to step out of my comfort zone and see what i'm really made of. I have learned to take risks and in doing so, found greater happiness. Comfort doesn't always let me stretch my boundaries or increase my knowledge. I like to keep growing smarter, funnier, happier because i am able to see my blessings better too because being bold allows our PASSION to ignite. I lived in a comforting relationship for 14 years where the boat was never rocked, and little did i know how boring that was until i started to live a little bit more! Finding friends and a love that goes with you on that journey is wonderful and i also need those peeps to be the kind of friends that if i get boring, old, sad or humdrum, they are gonna come give me a swift kick and say 'snap out of it' because they know what i need, what best serves me and is true to MY spirit.

 

Teasing is part of this journey and for years, in a boring relationship, there was no teasing.  My teasing experience goes back to some old family memories that i actually took personally and hurtfully. Now I know that when my guy calls me a 'coconut head' it is all in fun and love. It is Special! We can decide to find things charming or complain, and i like charming or as i call my guy; quirky! Relationships aren't supposed to be like elevator music-something in the background that doesn't merit your attention. The formula for a successful relationship is always based on a solid underlying friendship. Our friends and partners are supposed to know what we need and we have to teach TEACH them what we need; ASK. Stop expecting someone to read our mind or think they 'know' us.  Let your friends and mates be your closest companions and your playmates.  

 

Laughing, talking, sharing stories, reliving memories, being interesting rather than always complaining about their world and someone who wants to grow; a friend. This is what i have decided for myself to focus on more of this New year and i myself become the teaser, the playful one and the one to get you to laugh!  Did you hear the one about....